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2003-06-08 The End is Near Any of you who write know that a terrifying moment in the entire process is writing that first sentence on that first sheet of blank paper. You have an idea, you have a few characters in mind, but how the hell do you start it? I've started many books, and thus I know that moment very well. When I was about to start the current novel, Erica suggested that I imagine the start of a movie, and that helped, a bit. Sadly, I haven't finished many of the projects that I started. There have been many reasons, each individual to the book, but basically it boils down to it not working out, there being too many problems with it and my not knowing how to fix them. I hate not finishing things I start, but sometimes, that's the way it goes. Thus, I never anticipated the other terrifying moment in the writing process: when the end is drawing near. Of course, this is only Book One, and therefore not really the end, but it's the end of this installment. I'm not sure if there will be three in all, which would be nice since it'd make a trilogy, but right now I'm thinking two. Anyway, I sat down today to come up with the rest of the major events I want to happen, and even some of the non-major ones. I ordered them all, slotted them into chapters. There is still quite a bit to write, but all of a sudden, I know what the end of this book will be like. I had a vague image before, but not all the details in between. Now that's done, and all that's left is for me to write it. And it terrifies the hell out of me. Thus, I haven't actually written anything today. Just ordered it all, then decided to read a new book. Made up the egg and onion salad that will go on bread for my lunch tomorrow. Now I sit here, writing about how worrisome I feel. Why? I have no idea. Like I said, I didn't expect it. Maybe it's because that's the end of one stage. Next comes the serious editing and rewriting stage. Which means that I'll be getting it ready to be sent out to publishers. Which means that I could be setting myself up to be crushed. Or, maybe I won't. Maybe it'll all work out, and whoever I send it to will love it and want to publish it. Maybe. I'd be one of very very few who get published on the first manuscript they send anywhere. I'm not sure what I'll do if/when I get that first rejection letter. And the second. And the third. Rationality tells me that I'll just have to try again, with a new idea, and hey maybe if I do get published with that second or third major idea that I actually do something with, this first manuscript will be considered. Sigh. Writing is absolute joy for me, most of the time. But once in awhile, total terror creeps in. |
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