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2004-09-06 Labour Day Weekend Since I'm unable to concentrate enough to write the book, I figured I might as well come here and write a little bit about my weekend. I was really looking forward to this long weekend because my mom and I normally don't have the same holidays, which means we still only get to stay in Rawdon until Sunday. But for Easter and Labour Day, we both have the same day off. We drove up on Friday night, just in time to see some people we know who live in the Maritimes. One of them, Trina, lives in Halifax, and she gave me her phone number for when I'm down there next week. Saturday was fairly relaxing, and pretty normal. I slept in, did a bit of writing, and then my mom and I went out to do our regular errands. When I went to cash a couple of checks at the gas station, however, I came out to find out we had a flat. And I mean a SERIOUS flat. There was no air at all on the bottom half. Thank god there's a gas station with mechanics right across the street. I wasn't sure if we'd end up having to get some new tires right away, but the guy was able to just patch it up, and he told me that the patch is good for the life of the tire. It ended up costing ten bucks. Phew. On Sunday, Natalie and her mom came to pick me up and brought me to their country place for the day. I've only been there once, and it's really beautiful. It's on a lake, and is surrounded by forest. Unfortunately, I was a big dumbass and forgot my digital camera. Ah well, I'll just have to go again :) There's one place in particular that I love: right near their house, there's a cliff overlooking the lake and across it are the tree-covered hills. Sitting there I realized how much the tables have turned for me. At one time, I never would've wanted to *live* in such a spot. Now? If I could write full-time, living around trees and water would be absolutely perfect, as long as it wouldn't be too long a drive to get to a grocery store. Today has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride for me. Sometimes I'm perfectly calm, and then without warning, my heart will start pounding, my stomach will tighten into knots, and I'll start breathing a lot faster. Because, four days from now, I'll be flying. I mean, I'm excited about it, yes. Not just Halifax, but the flight as well. I've wanted to go up in a plane for a long time. But I'm also terrified at the thought. My dad has been telling me different things about the plane so that I won't freak out when they happen, such as how the engines get a lot quieter after take-off, and if I'm near one of the wings, I shouldn't panic if I see fire. These are definitely good things to know. I can just imagine how I'd react if I glanced out the window and saw flames shooting out. As it is, if I'm seated in the spot marked on my receipt, I'll be sitting near the back. I'm really trying to remain calm about the whole thing. Telling myself that people fly all the time, that pilots and flight attendants probably spend more time in the air than they do on the ground, that I won't get lost in the airport (especially since neither Montreal nor Halifax are big airports). I try to focus on being in Halifax, finally getting to see and smell and hear the ocean. I remind myself that George's cousin is very kindly going to be at the airport in Halifax to pick me up (which is unbelievably kind since he doesn't know me!). But people with anxiety know that these things will work only up to a certain point. They've worked pretty much flawlessly over the past couple of weeks. But now I have four days left because I go, and sometimes that freaks me the fuck out. Gah. I really should try to get some writing done. I had hoped to get the first draft of this book done before I went, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I know for sure that on Thursday, little if any will get done.
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