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2003-07-15 Mission Impossible Okay, so it's been awhile. Part of the reason was because I messed something up in my template and it resulted in nothing showing up on my screen. Erica fixed it (thank you!!), so here I am. Not that my life has been super-eventful. I'm still looking for a job, and I'm hoping that I'll get some good news on that front tomorrow or Thursday. One big thing that did happen was... I FINISHED THE BOOK!! It was all handwritten, so now I'm busy typing it all up. It totals 934 handwritten pages - I'm still not sure how many it'll end up being once it's typed, but I think it'll be a good-sized book. Anyway. Have you ever had an impossible crush? It's horrible. There are a bunch of possible circumstances that can make a crush impossible - the person has a significant other; the person is married; the person lives too far away; the person is too old for you. The list goes on and on. I'm going through my own bit of an impossible crush, though none of the reasons above apply in my case. It's something totally different, and something I seriously doubt can be overcome. A couple of my friends tell me that it is possible, but I'm not sure if they totally get it. I'm not really sure what to do about it. I'm hoping that if I just live with it for awhile, try to ignore it, it'll go away. Maybe I'll meet someone else that I connect with as much as I do with this particular guy, but without the complication. Maybe it'll just fade. Maybe it's here only because I see him as unattainable for me, and once that wears off, the butterflies that have taken up residence in my stomach will go away. In the meantime, I get to be very annoyed with myself for allowing such a thing to happen. It's been awhile since I've felt this way - couldn't it have been about someone I could actually believe myself building a life with? Fucking hell. Let's hope that everything will work out well, and the universe will send me a more suitable match, okay? |
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