|
| ||
|
2004-01-08 A Little Bit More Detail In my weblog yesterday, I mentioned briefly that I will be quitting my new job tomorrow, Friday. I had written a whole entry here and lost it, and since I was going on about 4 hours’ sleep yesterday, I just wanted to go to bed. So let me elaborate. As I mentioned, complaints were made against me yesterday, my first day, because I went down twice, once in the morning, once in the afternoon, to have a smoke. Now, I was away for literally the time it takes to smoke a cigarette. I wasn’t gone for 10 or 15 minutes because I was yacking it up with other people. I went down to the smoking room in the plant, smoked, came back up and went back to work. Apparently, however long I was (I wasn’t exactly timing myself), it was too long. So the job is 8:30 to 5:00, with a half-hour lunch and no breaks. Uh, yeah. No thanks. It was also “suggested” that instead of going to the smoking room in the plant, that I go outside since ‘it’s not as far to go’. Yes, true, except that to go outside, I’d have to put on my coat, boots, scarf, hat, and mitts, so it’d work out to about the same thing. Even though it was mentioned yesterday, there was no way I was going outside today when, according to experts, any exposed skin could freeze within 30 seconds, when there’s a perfectly good, heated, smoking room in the building. No one said anything to me today, but the damage has been done. A coworker was talking to my boss today, and although I couldn’t catch every word, I could tell they were talking about someone in the office. The whole time, I was wondering, Are they talking about me? Totally irrational, I know. I really don’t think that this particular person was complaining about me, but the paranoia is already there, festering. I also found myself trying to make sure that anyone who might be watching me would see when I was going to the washroom, so that they wouldn’t look up, see my empty chair and wonder if I was having another smoke. Not exactly the most favorable environment. It’s too bad. Although the work is not exciting or interesting by any stretch of the imagination, I don’t really mind it either. When I’m just sitting there, working on something and not thinking about anything else, I’m okay. Not jumping up and down with excitement, but okay. But then, as soon as I pause, or finish the task, or get up to do something, I remember and I feel super uncomfortable again. If this was a job I had to make money while still in school, I’d probably keep it. Because it’s just a stepping stone. Now that I’ve graduated, however, I want to find something more or less “permanent” (as permanent as anything is, these days). I don’t want to be unhappy from Day One. In addition, they’re not even ready for me. They didn’t get the furniture they ordered, and the place hasn’t been rewired to handle a third computer, so I currently have a desk with no phone, no computer. I’m not doing the whole job I was hired to do, and it’s not like we’re talking a couple of days until everything is set up. We’re talking the end of February. Hopefully. So in the meantime, guess what I’d be doing? Filing, filing, and… yes! more filing! Me not happy. Anyway, it’s mostly due to the discomfort I’m feeling (which is totally separate from that normal, “new person” discomfort we all get at a new job; that one I accept). I don’t want to feel like my every move is being watched. So, tomorrow is quitting day. I’m nervous because I’d like to leave on a good note, but I know I won’t. She’s going to be pissed, and understandably so. I guess I’ll just have to try to spin it all in such a way that she won’t be able to get completely upset with me. Wish me luck!
|
Portal (coming soon) Get notified: |
|
