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2003-09-16 A Little Out of Sorts I'm feeling a little odd today. Actually, it started yesterday, and I'm not 100% sure what's up. I think it's partly related to being stressed out about the whole quitting fiasco. I'll fight them if they try to doc me, but I'd really much prefer not to. It just seems like a huge amount of energy that I'd really like to reserve for something else. Something fun. I'm not even sure how to describe what I'm feeling. A little sad (I hate to say depressed because then people start thinking 'clinical depression' and medication and all that, and it's really not like that). Sad because I don't have a job. Sad because, although I'm totally loving the book, Why Girls Are Weird sometimes makes me realize fully how lonely I feel at times. Sad because I don't have a job (again), and while I have an open house to attend on Thursday and an interview on Friday, I know from recent experience that it can take a really long time to get hired again. Sad because I may not be able to get Hayley a super-duper present for her birthday on Saturday (she's turning a year old!! Where has the time gone??) But I'm working on it. The sad bit, I mean. I'm trying not to smoke as many cigarettes as I did yesterday. I'm trying to concentrate on the fact that I have less than 100 pages to type of The Book, and how wonderful it'll feel when that part of it is done. I'm going shopping today for Hayley's present, which should be fun. I'm going to Toys R Us, which will undoubtedly make me regress to childhood again as I run around the store pressing all the buttons on all the toys. I did that at Walmart this weekend. It made me wish I was a kid again, so that I could have these toys to play with. I think that must be one of the really great things about being a mom - you get to buy and play with all the toys without looking or feeling like a bit of an idiot. So, I'm hoping that going to the toy store will cheer me up - of course, it'll only work if I can afford to get Hayley a really great present. I'm not even sure what to get for her. Anyway, bear with me. I'm a little off-the-wall today. And I have a request: please send me suggestions about what to write about. It can be anything: issues I might have an opinion about, questions about me, whatever.
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