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2003-05-06 Sad Day Today was a very sad day. It was my last day working at the School of Architecture. I was pretty much fine for most of it - sad, yes, but no big meltdowns. I was actually too bloody busy finishing things up to really worry about too much of anything. There were files to finish creating, word files that needed to be saved onto a diskette since they were in my own account on the hard-drive, etc. I even held it together when Marcia said goodbye to me early. She had a meeting to go to right after lunch, and she didn't know how long it'd take, so she didn't want to take the chance. Which is good, since she still wasn't back when I finally walked out the door at 4:00. But then I had to clean up my desk, throw out unimportant papers I'd filed away and forgotten about, put the picture of my cat in my bag to bring home. I washed the coffee cup I normally used there for the last time. And then Kathleen had to run to catch her train, so she hugged me goodbye. I held it together, but I was hanging by a thread. I blinked back the tears, and then readied myself to go say goodbye to Mary, my boss. She returned the book I'd lent her that she'd never gotten around to reading, and then called the administrative assistant (David) and Veena into the office. Mary, Marcia, Kathleen, David and Veena had chipped in and got me a card they'd all signed and $50 worth of gift certificates for a large shopping mall in the area. I told them I couldn't read the card right then (with all them staring at me), and then I went to give Mary a hug goodbye and broke down anyway. When I pulled away, I saw that she was pretty teary-eyed herself. It was so hard. Like I wrote in my last entry, it's not like I planned or hoped to stay there indefinitely anyway. I wouldn't really want to - it's not the kind of work I want to do (and given my temperament, I don't think I'm cut out to do that for 20 or so years), it's not the best pay, I'd kind of like to get away from the academic sphere, especially for when September rolls around and everyone's going back to school and I'm not. But I was there for 2 years. I loved the people (for the most part). I really got to know them, and they got to know me. I often referred to Mary as my Mom at work. She was so understanding if I needed to take a day off to do school stuff. She never minded when I took a week off last summer to go to Toronto and then another week at the end of the summer to get myself ready for another semester. She told me on numerous occasions how much she appreciated me, and it continued today in what she wrote in the card - "... you have become very indispensable and I will miss your cheerfulness (and help)!" Yeah. THAT'S why I couldn't read it right there in the office. As much as I hate crying in front of other people (all the while assuring others that it's fine to cry, and healthy if you need to get it out), I'm glad I did. My mom said that there'd be something wrong with me if I didn't, and she's right. Those people at architecture were good to me and I'll never forget their kindness. |
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