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2003-04-28 Studied Out Yes, I know. I'm supposed to be studying. I'm supposed to be on hiatus at least until Wednesday night. But fuck, I'm studied out. Completely. I've been working on art history since about nine this morning, and I just CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE. I'm afraid that if I do, I'll be so bored with the material in the exam that I'll write two lines and leave. Well, okay, there's no real danger of that - I tend to write novels for papers and essay exams, but still. There's nothing worse than being bored while doing a final. I know the basics for all the authors - the feminist art historians writing on the whole issue; I know most of the artworks, or the important ones at least. My prof told us that the final would be similar to the midterm, which hopefully means that the question will be open enough to allow us a bit of room, allow us to pick and choose who we want to write about to make our point. There's going to be two questions, and we only have to write one. It's a three-hour exam. I'm seriously hoping that the questions won't cause me to be so convoluted that it'll take me three hours to write it. I want to be out of there early enough that I can come home and start some serious studying for my television exam. I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous entry, but on Easter weekend, my uncle, hearing about my affinity for proofreading, suggested that I try McGill-Queen's University Press (MQUP), so I went on the site and discovered that one of the editors is a history prof I had last semester, and who happens to remember me and the paper I wrote (as well as how much he enjoyed it). So I emailed him last week, basically asking whether there was a job opportunity there for proofreading. Day after day I checked my inbox, but there was never any response. Then finally today, he got back to me. While he didn't say that there was something for me there, he also didn't say there wasn't. In fact, he told me to call him on Thursday or Friday, so I have my fingers crossed. I'm really hoping that this all works out because I think that the stress from both the end of the semester and from the knowledge that in a short while I'll be without a job, is really getting to me. Lately I've felt exhausted (though that may in part be due to the allergies I seem to have developed a couple of years ago), crabby, stiff. I'm sure that it's mostly thanks to finals, but I'm also really not used to feeling directionless. I've always had a plan, even if that constituted me floating through a world religions degree. I had school. I had my WorkStudy job. In a little while, I'll have neither. But hey, maybe I'll be lucky and the prof will offer me a job by the end of this week. At the same time, despite this dread of not having a Plan, I can't wait until Wednesday evening, when I come home, put the books and papers away for good, sit down and watch tv, read the Diana Gabaldon book I'm on, maybe do a bit of writing (if I'm not brain-dead that is, after writing an exam), and doing the Beltane ritual without the feeling that I have to rush because I have loads of homework to do. Barring any returns for a one-year degree, I will be done school. I will be free. Are you tired of hearing about the end of my role as student? Too damn bad. I'm sure that there will be more to come. ***** In other news, I still haven't heard from Adrien (the guy I gave my number to at the religious studies ball). It might be because of exams, but it also might not. But hey, whatever. It bothers me a teeny bit, but not too much. If he calls, he calls. If he doesn't, well, that's his loss :) Besides, having been without a boyfriend for so long, it doesn't seem all that strange. Sure, I have lonely moments just like any other single person. But it's the way it's been for the past few years. I can have Natalie set up another group outing with Peter, the guy she kinda wants to fix me up with, and see what happens there. I may end up getting a job at a place where Mr. DreamGuy himself is working. I go through times when I fear that I might never meet anyone, I might never get married, have kids, etc., but most of the time I figure that I will. It's not like I'm alone in my search for Mr. DreamGuy - I have Natalie and my sister on the lookout for anyone they think might click with me. Anyway. Enough of this rambling. For now, at least. Hopefully, once the exams are over, I can engage in some thoughtful, maybe even philosophical discussion of pertinent issues that have nothing to do with school/homework/work/my daily activities. 'Night. |
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