2004-10-10

Thanksgiving 2004

We just got back a little while ago from my nanny's. I wish we could've stayed until tomorrow since I have it off, but my mom has to work. Ah well. At least I *should* be able to spend the day writing. I might even finish the book! My goal is to at least finish the battle scene, since I'm about halfway through it already. We'll see what the day brings, I guess.
The weekend was good. We got up there on Friday evening, had supper, chatted with my aunt, uncle, cousin and their friend Stuart (who is actually a woman from Scotland), and then after having a quick shower, my cousin and I headed up to the Rawdon Inn to have a few beers and just hang out. We spent a lot of time talking about my move - he already knew about it since he reads my weblog and journal. He's been very encouraging, which is nice. Although it *was* for a job, which makes things very different, he moved all the way out to Prince Rupert, British Columbia (on the west coast, way up north) on two weeks' notice.
On Saturday, Sherry, George and Hayley came for the day. Unfortunately, George wasn't feeling well at all, so I didn't get to see him too much. Hayley just fell in love with Craig (my cousin). We had our big turkey dinner that night since it was the only one where we'd all be there. After Sherry and George headed home, we all hung out in the living room, and then later on, Craig, my parents and I played a board game, "Aggravation" while everyone else went to bed. I LOVE that game - I get very into my board games, and that one gets me all tense. You're trying to make your way around the board with your four marbles, but you can bump, or be bumped, back to the base where you have to start over again. My dad won, followed by my mom, and then me. Poor Craig. Hee!
Today was pretty good too, but my uncle finally started to talk to me about this move to Halifax. He thinks I'm rushing into it too much. Maybe he's right. This is definitely a lot more rushing than I'm used to. I tend to go with my head a lot, rather than my gut, and that means I miss opportunities. He suggested that I go for a visit again, this time for 2 weeks. I protested that doing so would mean I'd have to wait another year, but that was precisely the point. I could save up more, and with another visit, I could both look for a job a bit more and I could get a better idea of whether or not I really do want to live there.
I see his point, and part of me agrees with him. But, like Craig said, I don't even know what's going to happen next week, let alone next year. A lot can happen in a year, and it might not all be good. I don't know precisely what's causing the rush; Jean Marc might be a part of it, but that's all - just a part. There's also this sense that right now it might be a year; next year I might say, Oh I need another year, and so on and so forth until it's ten years later and I'm still living here (and god-forbid, still living with my parents!). I just feel this NEED to go out there, try it out, actually take a risk which I never do. I know I could gain my independence, or some of it, if I just got my own apartment here in Montreal, but I also feel like it just wouldn't be enough. You can't rationalize a need. You just either go with it or you ignore it, and deal with the consequences either way.
I nodded to my uncle's comments, let him know that I saw his point. But when I was about to leave and he said "So I will see you when Auntie Margaret and I come back in the Spring", I retorted with "Or I'll see you when you and Auntie Margaret take your annual trip to Mahone Bay".
I'm terrible at making decisions. If there are two nice shirts in a store but I can only afford one, I can easily stand there, looking from one to the next for half an hour. But when I make a decision, that's it. My mind is made up.
And I feel like I've made a decision.

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Wearing:Jeans and a sweater Hearing: Quiet Watching: Maybe a movie? Reading: Audrey Niffenegger'sThe Time Traveler's Wife Doing: Thinking too much.

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