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2003-08-03 Update on the Crush A few weeks ago, I wrote this very cryptic entry about a crush I had developed. I don't know why I was being so vague, but I guess that even though I have this diary under a pseudonym, I worried that someone may come across it. Anyway, for anyone who doesn't know already, the said "crush" (god, I feel like such a school-girl whenenever I say that word) was on the minister up near my grandmother's house. As I'm Wiccan, those sort of feelings towards a Christian minister were, well, quite problematic. As it turns out, however, I think I blew it way out of proportion. We were up north this weekend, and after supper last night, I decided to go for a walk. As I neared the rectory where he lives, I saw that his car was in the driveway, and that much to my surprise, I didn't get nervous at all. So, I decided to stop in and say hi. Sidenote: It's weird how customs can be so different between rural and urban areas. Living in the city, I've been taught that you call before going over to someone's house out of courtesy. In rural areas, however, people have a greater tendency to drop in. They often do so at my nanny's, so I've been exposed to this very different custom. But when it comes time for me to do such a thing, I feel so weird, like I'm invading someone's privacy. Just thought I'd mention that observation . He hadn't been home for long, having been away at a couple of conferences the past two weeks, but he invited me in nonetheless. I only stayed for about an hour or so, but we chatted a bit, mostly about books. In the end, I came home with 3 books (one by the author who wrote The Chrysalids, one that's in the fantasy genre - Ursula someone-or-other, and a collection of short stories by H.P. Lovecraft). Then I came back home, where I watched Final Destination 2 with my parents and grandmother. I think that this 'crush' is more about the idea that he is, sort of, forbidden for me. There are arguments to the contrary, but in my mind he is the unattainable. See, on every other occasion when I've seen him, even when chatting in his house, he's always worn the collar, and on one occasion, the whole robe. Last night, maybe because I wasn't a planned guest, he was dressed in regular shorts and a t-shirt. He suddenly appeared very non-religious, like an everyday guy. And I wasn't my customary nervous self, the way I am when I'm in the presence of someone I'm attracted to. This is very good news. He's becoming a friend, and I'd like it to remain that way. |
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